Why I'm Loving Myself This Valentines: 3 Steps To Self-Love

By Zanna Van Dijk
Feb 09, 2018
Why I'm Loving Myself This Valentines: 3 Steps To Self-Love
Self-love is a topic I am extremely passionate about. Through life we all go on our own individual journeys to self-acceptance and hopefully, self-love. It is important to remember just that, it is a journey. It isn't an overnight transformation where one day you wake up thinking you're the bees-knees. It takes times, effort and consistency; but I promise you it is so worth it. Self-love manifests as self-belief and with self-belief you can conquer the world.

Here are my three steps to self-love.

1) Identify the need to love yourself

You need to see the value in developing self-love. Right now, before you lose weight, get fit, change job or find your dream partner. You need to love yourself first. If you tell yourself "I'll be happy with myself once I am a size 10" or "once someone else loves me", you will never be satisfied. Once you achieve these goals you will find something else you need to do before you love yourself, leading to a vicious system of dissatisfaction. Instead, understand that finding self-love right now is what is going to give you happiness and gratitude no matter what the outcome of your other goals.

2) Realise that you are so much more than how you look

We tend to value ourselves based on our external appearances when these don't determine who we are as a person. Think about your best friend, why do you love them? I am pretty certain it is because of their kindness, intelligence or sense of humour. Not their long hair, defined abs or thigh gap. Similarly, people love you because of who you are, not how you look. Realise that. The moment we put our value in our personalities rather than our appearance, self-love becomes so much more achievable.

3) Accept, embrace, love

I work through three steps when it comes to self-love. First, take some time to reflect and accept who you are. Mentally, physically, every aspect of you. This is you and you need to accept that, even the self-perceived "flaws". Next, embrace yourself, your weaknesses and your strengths. Work with them and make them your own. Finally, love them. This one takes time, but once you finally learn to love yourself, the confidence you carry yourself with you will be like a magnet, attracting positivity and vibrancy to your life. And then what? Treat yourself like you love yourself. Prioritise self-care. Say no to people, places and things which don't make you happy. Consider your needs and put them first. The only person who is truly looking out for you above anyone else, is you. Give yourself the love you deserve.

If you want to hear me talk further about self-love, come along to my Female Empowerment and Self-love talk with #GirlGains at Balance Festival.

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